The rules of attraction

My post about Detective Mike Logan earned quite a nods of agreement from its female readers.  It also earned a few from the men.  One in particular really got me thinking.  Grady said

I only have one question for all the ladies. If he wasn’t so prominent in ‘Sex in the City’ would you feel the same?

Be honest with yourself, I doubt it.

It’s a fair point, but it just proved that men don’t get it.  (No offense, Grady.)

275pxabbie_carmichaelMaybe I’m making a mistake by generalizing like that, but I’ve had conversations like this throughout my life and it seems to me that there really is a gap there.  See, the thing is, that post I wrote was really about Mike Logan.  It wasn’t meant to be a tribute to Chris Noth because in my mind, they are two totally separate people.  Sure, one is just a fictional character, but truth is, Noth might as well be too because it’s not as if I know him, nor will I ever.  What I was trying to point out was the hot factor radiating from that character.  I’ll give you some other situations.

Abbie Carmichael.  (She really is just another great example, the fact that she’s also a Law & Order character is purely coincidental.)   Now Abbie, she was hot and for a while there, I had an uncharacteristic flame burning for her.  She was a hard ass and I loved that.  She dressed in the most incredible suits and had a deep raspy voice that was very sexy.  I liked everything about Abbie Carmichael and I still do.  Know what I don’t like?  Angie Harmon.  I have no time for her  sweet talking, bad movie acting, Sehorn loving ass.

Then there’s Tobey Maguire.  I melt at the sight of James Leer, his melancholic college student character in Wonder Boys, but Spiderman really doesn’t do anything for me.

StoryWhen Bex and I tried to work it out the other night and basically decided that maybe women really do fall for something more than physical, while men tend to focus only on looks.  Women consider personality, while with men, she’s either hot or not.

The truth is that I did like Big, but I loved Logan.  Big had no influence on that because it happened long before Sex and The City was even on the scene.

That’s my story, but I can’t speak for the other girls.  Ladies???

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4 Responses to “The rules of attraction”

  1. SherBears Says:

    Carly, I think you hit that nail on the head. Some guys there’s just something about them…a look, a walk…it’s HOT!

  2. Grady Says:

    No offense taken, but I do have to challenge you on your point. Your post may have been about Detective Logan, but I was not the only person to talk about Chris Noth.

    There were many of the ladies talking about Chris Noth and not the detective Mike Logan. So, while your generalization may have some point, your example of my post was not a good one.

    Now, onto the issue of whether men look only look at the physical when deciding whether they are atracted to someone. I can see your point, and even think that many guys do do this, but there are two things I have to say about that:

    1) It’s probably not as many guys as you think
    2) There are more women that do it than you give credit for.

    Now, let’s also add another complication to the situation. The social norms are set up so the guy has to approach the girl. There are some women who will approach a guy, but to be honest, the number of stories of such are very few and far between. (As an aside, I have only been asked out once in my life).

    Given that the guy has to approach girl, what does he have to go on? Nothing but looks, we can’t pre-determine a woman’s personality before talking to them. We are conditioned to place a large value on looks. We are conditioned to say “Hey, she is the most beautiful person in the room. Let me go talk to her and see if she is cool too.”

    Women, on the other hand, have much more information to go on to determine whether they are interested in someone. When a guy comes up to talk to them, they already know something about them. One, what they look like. And two, some notion of their personality based on the approach. Was the approach “Hey baby!!”, or a shy “Hello”? So much more information to go on…it is not even fair.

  3. robyn Says:

    All I can say is that all my previous relationships probably started out based on looks, on what I thouight was “my type.” My current husband I got to know first….and it has worked out wonderfully…

  4. Evey Says:

    Alright woman, wheres your post. Your making me nervous. Its almost deadline time.

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