I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t want to ever get married, but I do recall what was probably my first inkling.  I’d guess I was about seven or eight years old and it all revolved around a kiss.

I must have been watching television, I’d imagine, some kind of show or movie that featured a wedding.  What I do know for sure is that I saw something that spawned a worry that, quite literally, kept me up at night.  As I laid in bed, tossing and turning, I went through the scenario over and over, trying to come up with any kind of solution to my dilemma.  This went on for a few days and nights until I’d exhausted all my options and resigned myself to the fact that it was an impossibility.  Sitting down to the breakfast table the next morning, I figured I should just lay my cards on the table.  No sense beating around the bush, I quite solemnly told me mom "I am never getting married.  I will not kiss someone in front of that many people!"  I had literally spent nights trying to come up with any way that I could avoid that dreaded kiss, but with no light at the end of the tunnel, I decided just to forfeit the entire experience altogether.

Today, few things have changed.  Twenty five years have passed and I still don’t want to get married, my reasons are just slightly more valid and argument based these days.  That said, I do always try my best to never have to kiss anyone in front of anyone else.  I don’t think it’s really definition prudish, but I just don’t feel comfortable sharing that with others, nor do I appreciate others sharing it with me.  Kisses belong behind closed doors as far as I am concerned.  Is that harsh?

And, yeah, that’s right.  I could dress up as a bride for Hallowe’en, but I knew there was no way I was ever going to be one!

Please don’t get me wrong and take my statement too far, there is something beautiful about a kiss.  Unfortunately, it’s just the lead up.  Nothing can be more thrilling than the moments before a great kiss.  I mean, who can resist the rush from that eye contact that only ever comes before a first kiss?  Staring deep down into someone you find irresistibly attractive, the hairs on your body stand on end, a warm flutter originates in your belly and soon surges electricity through your entire body so much so even your head gets a little light.  You share a glance that tells you that the desire is mutually intense and then it’s the moment of truth.  Do you lean in and seal the deal or do you giggle or say something stupid to diffuse the situation?   Does is matter?  I, for one, don’t think so.

I truly believe that it’s fairly straightforward: a kiss is just (still, if you’d prefer) a kiss.   Nothing more, nothing less.  I think that the mechanics of kissing are quite simple, almost ingrained in us, and that it’s hard (although, not impossible – I know that from experience) to mess it up.  Really, what makes it all toe curling and hair raising exhilaration is the anticipation, the tension, the anxiety, the mystery, the rush.  That’s the part of kissing that I love, the part before it ever happens.  And let’s be honest, once those lips touch, it really is a just a coast downhill from there.

Would it be a shocker if I told you that I do not relive, nor do I even remember my first kiss?  I guess that’s just the cynic in me.

We’re still working the Blog-Off For Breast Cancer.  Can you believe it?  I never expected to be around this long!  Click on that link to go and read the other submissions for the word KISS.

I had to laugh at this.  As I was wrapping up and putting the finishing touches on this post, I decided to tune in to listen to Ryan’s afternoon show.  What was he playing?  Coincidentally, it was I Was Made For Lovin’ You.  Tee hee!  How appropriate.


9 Responses to “Kiss”

  1. Courtney Says:

    I’m the same way about kissing in front of people. I don’t even like to kiss Derek- and we’ve been married for over 4 years- in front of my parents. Just. Not. Interested. Of course, that didn’t stop me from getting married. Obviously.

  2. Diane Says:

    I think the anticipation is the best part too. And why movies with good sexual tension work so well, when they almost kiss but don’t. one good e.g is the tension between jodie foster and richard gere in sommersby. had me on the edge of my seat. much better than the boring old let’s show them everything scenes a la basic instinct.

  3. dawmarie Says:

    I’m not all about making out in front of people, but Nick and I have been known to give goodbye kisses in front of others.

    “Unfortunately, it’s only the lead up” that is only true if you let it be true. It doesn’t have to coast downhill. If you’re doing it right, it just keeps climbing.

    But I love kissing.

  4. rocketstar1 Says:

    The first kiss is pretty damn nice.

  5. Evey Says:

    The wedding kiss was something that always freaked me out as well. But thats why Chris and I had a small wedding with 20 people and it was a small kiss. There are ways around it.

    And your right, the excitement of a kiss is all the stuff before it. Especially a first kiss, you can’t ever have that back. That exact feeling in that moment will never be duplicated with that person. I think its pretty cool.

    Whats not cool is all that excitment and anticipation for that first kiss with a boy and then he is the worst kiss ever. It just ruins it all.

    Great post, as usual I loved it, even if you didn’t!

  6. K Says:

    Kisses are wonderful….. hmmmmm.

    Relationships…. not so much.


  7. Piera Says:

    You nailed it! So true about the leading up to it part!!!!

  8. flap Says:

    I really enjoyed this post. I totally agree with you about the build up to a kiss. It’s where it is at.
    That picture of you in the wedding dress is so ironically adorable!!

  9. Dawn Says:

    Hey Carly. Just checking in, cuz I haven’t been around in a while.

    So true about the whole building up to the kiss thing. The anticipation is incredible.

    I have to say though that I have no qualms about kissing my man in public. We love each other, and so long as we don’t start groping and clawing at each others clothes lol, I think we’re not doing anything wrong.

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